I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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