My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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