im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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