I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
