I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
