Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
