he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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