you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
