that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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