Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
