I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
