I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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