u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
