this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
