8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
