She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
