Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
where are you?
Hypothermia
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
