Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
