Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
