Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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