SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
