He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can I color on your dick again?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
