I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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