i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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