State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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