Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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