He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
