when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
