When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Barsexuality is the new black.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
