East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize