ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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