just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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