i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Randomize
