Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
well you can't waste a boner
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
