I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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