he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
