i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
