My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He shit in the fireplace
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