every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
