O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
