can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
