I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
