I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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