he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize