Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
