PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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