cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
