I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
