my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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