kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
