In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
