I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
