im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
