zippers are such a cool invention
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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