do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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