my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Congratulations! We have a period
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