i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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