Non-Jews are for practice
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
