omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
