ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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