Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
this hospital has no fireball
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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