Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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