brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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