Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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