So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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